We all desire finding just the perfect gift for each of our loved ones. Few things are as satisfying as seeing the face of a loved one light up when they open your present—especially a child. I am going to suggest that this year, in addition to the colorfully wrapped gifts, you also give everyone the best present—your “presence.” Nothing is more powerful than actually being attentive and completely present to everyone. Here are a few tips for being joyful and bringing joy into the lives of family, friends, and all whom you encounter:
- Give up complaining.
You cannot give others what you do not have yourself, and that includes joy. If you are constantly complaining it may have become an unconscious habit. Here are some things which you may routinely and automatically complain about: traffic, weather, customer service, other shoppers, clerks in the stores, family members, political foes, and other people in general. It takes a conscious effort to stop complaining. First, you must become aware that you are complaining, and secondly, take action to break the habit.
It helps to understand why people complain. The answer is they “get to be right.” Notice the sense of superiority you feel when you know more than others. Start paying close attention to the many times you are complaining to yourself. Signs you are complaining inwardly include impatience, irritation, frustration, rolling your eyes, smirking, sighing loudly, getting angry, and losing your temper. It takes acknowledging your inner complainer before you can begin to quiet the relentless voice. I challenge you to walk through a crowded store or mall and stop yourself every time you hear your inner voice criticizing others or complaining about the circumstances.
- Be an example of compassionate grace.
When we can accept our weaknesses, fears, imperfections, appearance, age, and other judgments about ourselves, we will find more peace and compassion for ourselves as well as others. When we are self-critical and judgmental, we will project the same sentiments to others. As we learn compassionate grace for ourselves, only then can we truly extend it to others. Give as you like to receive, and it starts with yourself.
- Listen more than you talk.
Are you someone who is unaware of the balance of conversations? If you are so anxious to talk about yourself that you are sucking up the airspace, then you are not focusing on others. You are putting your own needs ahead of giving others your undivided attention. Stop playing one upmanship and notice even the subtle attempts of the ego to be supreme. Being superior to others is not only off-putting, but it also actually alienates others rather than brings them closer. When you are busy trying to impress others, you don’t realize what a bad impression you make.
- Be a light and presence of love.
Look into the eyes of the people you know and those you encounter when you are out and about. If you are on the phone, put down your other devices and give full presence to the one whom you are talking. Practice being present every moment you get the chance. People will feel your focused attention on them. Conversely, if you are not present or are multi-tasking while on the phone, they will feel that lack of attention as well.
Love is immeasurable. Love eliminates no one and shines on everyone. Love spreads far and wide. It abandons no one. In its purest form, love removes all doubt. If love is the sunshine, then judgment is the cloud that obscures it. Love is the greatest gift of all.
