Stop Scaring Yourself to Death with Your Own Fictitious Stories. Join John Smallman and me as we discuss how pain and fear can awaken us to who we truly are. Then read below that summarizes our conversation.
In a world of diverse beliefs, conflict, blame, and shame, it is sometimes hard to gain and remain seated in your own soul, grounded in your authentic power. We can be pulled one away and another, believing in false stories, interpretations, misunderstandings and confused conclusions. However, we often add to the on-going drama with our own personal stories of fear that were concocted by the ego to keep us trapped within its grip. The ego is a tormentor and the source of self-doubt. It is so often in such a hysterical state, it is hard to believe we actually listen to out false egos. But we do listen and we can put ourselves in a frozen, painful state of torment and anxiety. We create stories of catastrophe and future suffering in a misguided way to keep us safe, keep prepared for emergencies and “in the event of†scenarios, almost like disaster preparedness training; only these stories you are creating are the worst possible circumstances that are never really likely to occur. When we can unravel the drama in our own story, we can help unravel the pain and suffering in the world, which is the way the culture and structure on this planet will be healed.
Path of awakening
The circumstance causing us so much pain is actually a path of awakening designed by our own soul to discover our true, authentic selves. Our resistance to seeing the source of our suffering is what is really causes the real pain! Revealing to ourselves that we are the cause of our suffering is EMANCIPATION–freedom the journey of the soul. When we can allow ourselves to look at fears to release them, we can regain our joy.
Discover the hidden complaint about yourself that is controlling your life and preventing you from being your true self, your soul. Lack of self-worth shows up, usually in relationships and presents in various ways.
In the absence of our soul’s true worth, we make up identities that we believe will prove we are worthy and powerful. Discovering that these roles are just actors, limited by self-directed scripts is a huge revelation! The secret to awakening is discovering that no matter how hard we try, the artificial roles are NOT ENOUGH. Here are some of props or circumstances that can trigger our lack of internal worth but can be the opening to your personal restoration:
- Financial worth:
Our society is often based on idolatry of the rich and famous. When we compare ourselves, we can berate ourselves for not being financially successful and/or famous. Accumulating wealth is not a measure of our worth in reality but in the ego world it is. - Physical beauty, size, weight, etc.
Studies show that teenage girls can become instantly depressed when reading fashion magazines showing anorexic and photo-shopped models wearing outrageously expensive clothes and accessories. Both men and women fall victim to this need to have physical beauty defined by fashion trends, movies, and other external variables.
- Titles, occupations, and educational degrees
Outside certifications, validations, degrees are recognized as credentials and proof of accomplishments. These are important guidelines and educational standards for societies to rely on, but even these can be used to validate a sense of worth or be confused with one’s true inner worth. Losing your job can threaten your sense of who you are, but it is not your identity–just a role you play. - Clubs, societies, cliques, political groups, alumni associations, churches, sports fan clubs, etc.
As social animals, human beings wanted to be accepted and included, and people bonding based on common goals creates synergy and accomplishes what one cannot do. Even small groups, using group will, can make significant changes. The question to ask in these groups of people is, “Who benefits here?†If it helps and elevates people, it is powerful. If its intention is to suppress, oppress, exploit, or overcomes others, it is collection of egos and it is employing artificial power. Being a member in any of these groups or societies, even when it is worthwhile, still does not define your personal worth. It is a by-product of knowing who you are. - Partner
Even the love partner can be part of your identify. When one loses the validation, companionship, sense of love and support from the partner and society’s recognition can cause a great sense of loss. The bitter-sweetness of the loss is that it can break your heart open to receive light shining in from yourself and others.
Here are my suggested steps to awaken from fearful, confusing, or painful moments:
When we can align with our inner knowing, our deepest self we connect with a source and a power greater than anything external. By connecting with Universal Love, we find comfort, support, and wisdom to know how to deal with each situation as it arises. It is counter-intuitive, but when we slow down we find clarity and accomplish more. Here are my suggestions on the path to freedom:
- Pause and take a deep breath.
- Bring your self to the present moment by focusing on your breathing.
- Relax and feel yourself letting go of the busy mind.
- Trust in the knowledge that you belong here, and you are connected to Love, the power that sustains all life.
- Hold your struggle or conflict in your consciousness and ask your inner wisdom, “What is the threat here? What am I really afraid of? What am I trying to protect?â€
- As you allow yourself to see the belief or fear that is holding you hostage, you can stop hiding it from yourself.
- Know that you actually have the power within to face and deal with each situation as they arise when you operate in the present moment from your inner wisdom.
- Remind yourself that 99% of your worries never occur—they are creations of your mind to try to protect you and prepare you. But your hidden fears can be debilitating.
- Practice becoming present and connecting with Love—the very reason you exist.
